i think alot of youths in the world feel like me now. lost n alone. somehow this empty feelin is lingerin there no matter wad u do. no matter how hard u try to run away from it, it always manages to find its way back up again. it takes two hands to clap. and once one side stops moving, the other hand has to work more to continue clappin until one day it is juz too tired to move on and the clappin gets fainter until it stops. this is juz like any friendships. once one side stops means nth can continue. i dun thnk i wanna elaborate.

on feelin lonely. well i guess there is always some emptiness in us. as shelin says =) i kinda agree with her. hmmm there's nt much u can do abt it bt let e feelin slide past cos no one knows wad i m feelin within although we r goin thru e same thing. cos i dun tell them ba i guess. its ok anywayx. sometimes nt tellin is better than tellin for i c no point in sayin senseless things over n over again. i'll juz end up pissin the person out. i realise tat i have to admit i m gettin despo.... i duno. its like tryin to fill up tat emptiness. bt then its hard to.... i wun try hard. i'll juz take it slowly....

lost? well i feel lost as wad i m doin. lately i've been very tired. n i realise tat i have given up tryin alot of things. emotionally i mean. i dun wanan care anymore. i m gettin too tired to even lift my own weight, which is not light. i could b changinm or revertin back to my old quiet self where all i wan is attention. =) i guess everyone wans attention no matter how much we deny tat we need it. life can b fun but somehow i could b pmsin so spoilin my mood. i juz hope i not affectin other ppl. but i dun think anyone will notice lahx. haha. sometimes bein left alone is a good thing. i will nv say i m used to bein alone cos i nv like it. so how can i b used to it??? when i m not immune to it?? infact i mind alot if i m alone. i dun like loneliness. its a fact of life i cant accept. mayb time can help me slowly adapt to it.

now i feel tat i wan a special kind of love to keep me company. nth like an r/s but juz a very close friend whom i can share everythin with n juz pour out all my love n sorrows at once to empty my soul. =) tats y i say i'm a despo. who is not honestly?? we all r to a certain extent n we all love gettin attention from opposite sexes somehow. =P i must admit lahx. its better to b honest then to lie to urself.

i wun b endin off with a poem this time. cos i feel too sianx n bored n tired to write anything. n i dun think anyone will bother readin this. so i juz type it all out to release my feelings. which will help cheer me up some how =) i think i feel better. hope i wun get pissed this week anymore... i need to exercise patience....