LoLx as promised i will descibe n explain my reason for bein obsessed.. or some ppl choose to call it bein a despo. actually i m not a despo lahx. may b to a certain extent. I M 17 AfTER ALL! MUAHAHAHHA ok i m crazy today lohx. duno y... i think i miss my com too much then suddenly can touch it makes me go kuku. *ShiT.. pickin up words n phrases from HM! he is freakin me out* anywayx.. back to e topic of despos rite?

i personally feel tat its natural for gals to feel despo. its not cos we r guy crazy, but me personally is juz like running away from reality. wad reality??? e reality tat every single will face. tat loneliness will find us somehow no matter how much we run from it. n unknowinly somehow i will juz fall for some stranger. weird rite? i know... tats y gals usually have lots of idols or crushes. whenever i meet someone i feel i wanna b with it becomes an obsession even thou i duno e person. cos its an inner thing tat is takin over. mayb its not really love ba. its obsession. somehow if there is chance to know this person it will be a miracle.

i think its naturally for everyone to feel lonely. not cos of left out or wad. juz some silent emptiness in ur life. however with all these sweet things in ur life, it becomes lesser holes which is y i say runnin away. but as a taurus to me, i believe tat feelin happy is e best. i do feel happy when i m obsessed. mayb tats wad keeps me goin in life. no matter how much sadness i feel or wounds bein made, i got something to push me out of life.

its different when u r attached. how so? u dun need all these obsessions anymore. naturally u will c all these petty things as childishness n stupidity. but i feel tat every body needs some space once in a while to dream n fantasize. it is my movin force, it not i will have nth to wake up to in the mornin to keep me goin. no special reason to b around for le. then u will say got ur friends. but somehow ur friends got their own commitments one. u cant b around them all e time. so of cos with love u can spend all ur time on them. rite?

loneliness is not bein alone with no friends. obsessions r not unhealthy to a certain extent. i feel tat no matter wad we do, we r all selfish ppl. of cos we will hurt others by our actions or words unknowninly, like ppl may b envious tat u r attached or tat u have an obsession or a special freedom to do things cos u r free. but then there r pros n cons to everything. we cant have it all. we juz need to control wad we do. its not horrible to juz drown in ur own world where nth can touch u. in fact i love this feelin. y?? cos it lets me feel wad life can b if somethin happens. n mayb this hope is a good thing for everyone.

oh well, not a long entry but i hope it explains my reasons for doin somethings tat u all may nt like... some stupid things tat i cant help =)