Angsty

12:20 am

i wonder if blogging here would help or not... well maybe it'll help me cool my nerves.. but it wont help me convey msges to the people i wan read this post.

anyways i think it's juz cos its JUNE, a horrible month for me.. that plus PMS... i guess it's harder for me to control my feelings... cos it's all exploding n all.. things i dun feel most of the time or if i can hide them... i wont show nor let them out run me. but today... i guess i'd explode a little.

got pissed over small fry stuff... yes.. lately.. it hit me over n over that all these frends of mine getting attached... and attached.... ya... its not that i envy them n wanna get a freaking r/s or anything close.. like hell la.. the last thing i wan is rush things n end up hating love all over again lOL not tat i like it now.

anyways... the point is... i realise that... i've made sacrifices.. doing things i dun like for these people... cos... to me they r my frends.. n i .. treasure them. they're basically the only people i have next to my family. and thus, they r always second place...

but u know wad... i'm prob a fly position to them.. yes.. cos they have a whole long list of people more impt than i m~ so.. no matter wad i do.. they're taking it for granted that i'd give way... and ya... make everything go smoothly.. but hey.. u know wht?? right now i'm tired..... too many things... i let myself think too much into. its my fault for not controlling it.. and not it's abt to burst and i'm getting upset.. the best bit.. i wonder where did all these "frends" went to? hmm~?? still mumbling over their own problems and here i m.. blogging here cos i'm so... soo... soo.......... afraid to tell them my "petty" issues.. issues that i dun give a thought to.. till today it decided to BURST!

ya... i m not angry.. juz pissed... i can feel the blood rushing to my head.. it makes me giddy... and i feel my fists clench up.

its bad.. like i can punch someone =x

but no.. i m not angry yet.. i m juz pissed and irritated.. =)

now the last bit... no one will be reading this i guess =))) so i get to keep this secret to myself and maybe tml.. when i wake up.. it'll all be forgotten and i'd go on being "miss goody goody girl" and bare all the "intolerance" inside and scream at myself.. get myself into trouble with my mom, with other people, cos i put these "frends" ahead of many things i shldnt... =) i'd regret it.. but i cant help it. i cant change my thoughts.. maybe it's abt time i really sit down n adjust... lol

are these people...

do they think they are really that worth my time??

hur~ pls think again if ur ans had been a yes...

† 其々が選んだ日々の中 †

*24.4.1988*
*RMIT - Bachelor in Accountancy*

*Visual KeiのNeverLand*
*Japanese*
*Black|Red|White*
*Dolly*
*The GazettE*
*my endless list of inspirational vk musicians =)*

++ VisualKei の NeverLand ++
. Visual Konbini
★ NO LIVE ♪ NO LIFE ☆　明日も楽しいみたい　v(＾┏┓＾)v
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Friday again
I realise i haven been posting pics here~ >.<
prayers?
after a while...
Because it is today
That time of the month
Dinner
AGAIN!
Trying to find a suitable title...
^^

Edited by: キキ様
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