★ Friday, August 08, 2008
9:26 amthere is actually so much that i want to say to you, to ask you... to know about you. but this fear of deadened eyes is so overwhelming that i know i'd just get killed if i ever do try.
oh ya~ i rememebered something. was talking to a frend the other day~ and he was telling me.... "i think you lack self-confidence." = = "u just need to make yourself prettier and i'm sure you'd find someone." = = "you are just afraid."
1) self-confidence~~~ maybe i lack it... but i dont think i wan it to attract guys = =.
2) i m not interested in attracting anyone!!! = = LOL~ but i dun mind doning myself up once in a while when dressing up. but love is~~~ huh~~
3) afaid yes~ but that's cos u duno my long story =) proves u duno me well. cos if u did, you wont have said whatever u did. and even when i tried to explain, you ended up thinking that its just the simple-ness of fear. if history was so easy to erase, we wont even be studying it =)
4) proves how little u really try to understand/read when u talk to people. which is sadd cos u didnt get my hints AT ALL.
5) but dont worry, i'd still call u my frend.
love~~~ currently~ life lacks it but that makes me unfeeling~ =P LOL! good thing i guess. ^^ prefer to keep it this way for now. even if there was some sort of love i buried deep down, i wont wanna be the wan to make it re-surface. if it does re-surface, it could be a happier beginning for me. but that's all i can say for now =) cos i cannot tell the future~ i only live to unravel it. ^^
2 ver. of dolly~~ XD kodona~ here i come but i have to wait 1 yr for u!!! =(
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