juz got back to sing and reached home.. i enjoyed it alot. yup. it was memorable n really relaxing. nw i feel tensed n stressed up. now i noe y i dun wanna ome back. now i noe y i miss hk. now i noe its not my studies that r really killing me.. its e other pressure. my so much other fears... e something tats been inside me all this time n even in front of my relatives i couldnt say it out. yup. not even in front of my mom n my sis's... can u believe it. sometimes juz e tht of it makes me wanna cry. haha =) no i alrdy feel like cryin out now. cos tis thing is eatin into me.... really... n i duno wad to do abt it. no one can help me. mayb u'll noe.... wad it is. i actually intented to place these precious hk memories into here while on e taxi. bt now... after reaching home, closing e door, 5 mins less later, my mood changed.. no more do i feel like puttin these too lovely memories inside here. for my soul now is already greased with hatred, angst, frustration and hopelessness. i dun wanna b involved.. yet my emotions refuse to let me loose. i wish i knew hw, knew y, help me or something... but too bottled up alrdy. sometimes its better not to noe. i tht things would be better. i let my hopes high.. now i m disappointed alrdy... cos it never happened that way. it was only a day dream i guess... =) mayb it is really true tt singapore's no longer safe... n going back to hk is e solution... bt... if i do go back, i'm afraid it'll b too late to regret later that i'll still end up disappointed...


tired.. n moodless now to update abt e sequence of events... when things like tat happen.. i think these memories will only b here in my mind n bottled up again another closed chapter... with no one ever knowing wad really happened and wad i'm really thinking... for mayb i m juz conditionted to tink tis way is better..


i guess it was really only a dream.. it nv happened at all... i m still only hallucinating...