★ Friday, November 09, 2007
confessions
11:25 pmah~ i thought i'd be relaxing~ but at the end of the day~ i couldnt. deep thoughts? its not that i cannot answer or that i need to thinK~ ha~ i realise i know myself pretty well that i have the answer, juz that i digg it in. =) hmmZ so i'd give my answer here to you... its not that i dont knwo what i want... its juz tat i m too selfish for commitments~ i cannot give wad u wan~ cos u juz keep eating at me. u dont know i hurt.. i dont show it. i like friends. i wan friends. u expect too much from me now. alot of things i have reasons for doing, but maybe its juz my selfish-ness or juz ur personal selfish thoughts that cause us both pain. so at the end of the day... y do u wanna pick up a fight with me?
sometimes i juz bear the pain~ call me a weakling... u remnd me so much of someone~~~ but it ended up the same... its juz enduring on both ends. it shouldnt have come to this if we'd both juz learn to give each other breathing space and be open about things. i like open r/s where there isnt any expectations. so life's carefreee. i wan my freedom. u should wan urs too. there is no love, juz plain possession. u should know it. there is nothing there. all u did was abuse me like a freaking child. i dont wanna be abused emotionally anymore. and i retaliate. i wan us to be friends, free and loving like wad friends should be. but wad u are doing is stretching out ur hand with ur angry face, hoping to get something from me.
now we both lead our own lives... different paths. u should know that in a sense, u r special to me. but that is all u r... till u learn more than juz urself. being alone has made u too hard on everyone else. stop being so spoilt about life. this isnt only about wad u feel. its also me~ so think through again before u say anything. although i know u... u're juz out to hurt me again... but i'd juz bear with it anyway. cos in some ways, i still respect u as a friend. u should really start doing the same too. wake up from ur dreamy life man~ e world doesnt owe u a living.
u think u're so great ya? but u're still nothing. and i say i'm hurt... it means i m hurt.. so stop repeating ur stupid whines. was i never there for u?? if i nv was then i shouldnt even get such a treatment, cos this kinda things wont be happening. so... think through pls.
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