★ Sunday, March 04, 2007
nothing much
8:32 pmnothing much la.. lately haven been of e best of moods =) n i shld say i m gettin pretty pissed off lOl yesh i m =)
hmmm... wad can i say ba.... forced into independence at e age of 18 on to 19. yea... tis is my life now. gonna b in self-pity for a while. u dun have to bear with me... head hurts now... got good got bad. e good side, i dun have to depend on anyone. e bad side... i still wanna enjoy life =) i dun wanna look around me n say... hey y cant i b like other youths? y cant my parents love me as much as in other families? y cant i have a normal home n b brought up normally with openness? u get wad i mean? mayb not ^^ note... independence in my case doesnt = freedom =) alot of ways i m still chained down LOL only tt i bring in e $$ myself. wanna swear.
lately e feeling i have is... when i close my eyes, and try to relax, my mind feels calm... my body's calm... but my heart.... it hurts, its filled with anger... n e worst part... cant find e right song to loosen up my feelings. juz feel like screamin... jumping... everything =) LOL yea. angry kid. my heart feels like its gonna explode, like some sort ermm... energy kept inside? =) ya tts how i feel. cant keep in line. n outside i seem normal, calm, confident? LOL my sis say i always like very confident. i guess i can juz hide myself very well. e only time i m not confident is when u c me cry... but i guess... i seldom do tt in public =)LOL~?
nothing le la.. hand itchy again. cant maple now lol gotta burn stuff if not my sis scold me x= ^^ soon talk to u all ba. hope by then i'm working =) LOL need e $$. ty to all those ppl who have been supportin me all these while esp when i m down ^^ i needed it alot even thou i dun say it =) ty~ take care!
今も生きるの意味を探す…
★ キキ様でした ☆
