★ Sunday, February 11, 2007
to know...
12:12 am
love... again
i seriously wonder LOL tis world... so cold... yet ppl everywhere say they're loving ppl. hahaha. i get ppl telling me... i'm left on e shelf, i mean not like one or 2... but a lot... ^^ poor ppl. they wan love but cannot find. hope they find their love soon =)
for me.... wear my heart on my sleeve... LOL mayb for VKers only ^^ hahaha. ermm... i cant say tt i've been hurt by love. even if i have... i've forgotten, or my mind's trained itself to run from tis pain. another reason love doesnt exist. but i noe ppl always get hurt fallin in love. i hear alot. so i noe... n i always wonder y ppl put themselves thru it... i think... i'm still running ba lol refuse to face tis part of life ^^ still choosing to live on a dark side.. comfortable the way i m now...
u probably thinking... HOW cAn U NOT WANNA B LOVED?? lol mayb i feel tt i m not tt ready for it... its alot of commitment which i think i cannot live up to. ^^ n~!!! e poor guy's gOTTA B ABLE TO SPONSOR MY LIFESTYLE! hahahahaha but my exs will tell u... tts crazy lOL cos they didnt sponsor them LOL~! okokook will keep out my personal past. now... hmm i think i juz like e feeling to know tt ppl do think abt me... show concerm for me ^^ i still need warmth ba... hahaha but being brought up in a world where my life's empty of love. in e sense tt... *look at my parents* LOL n ermm... e life i have ... seriously... its easy to give up on love ever existing =) but yA...i hope do hope to find someone who can really love me too =) hahaha i admit my expectations high la but... ya... it'll b a good thing ba ^^
life's not easy... i dun wish for ppl to go thru wad i have. but i wish tat e ppl out there can all wake up ba. mayb i'm juz jealous tt they're livin happy lives. lol mayb i'm envious of wad they have. call me selfish for all i care. but sometimes it pisses me off tt ppl say insensitive things. i m touchy to a certain extent... ppl... PLS PLSPLSPLSPLPSLPSPLSSSS APPRECIATE WAD U HAVE! i m serious... u all got good loving parents.. giving u wad u wan... freedom, $$, love, attention, u only have to worri abt ur own r/s PROBS n then get depressed over them!! hahaha i noe... u say OMG Y u SO HARSh. but if u really look at it... i m only speakin e truth on my side =) ooo i forgot to add... gettin mad at ur parents cos they care for u enuff. u guys will nv c tis... but i look around me everytime i go out... n tis is wad i c. haix... when ppl get their life settled... everything fine, they'll find ways to make it horrible, find things to argue abt. lol so weird.
i can c tis theory true at home... so... ya... if u got time rmb my words n then do a review of ur own life ba ^^
my sis sadd today... e prezzie we got for mom??? x= mom say she tht e ring didnt suit her... it was a $79 dollar ring... she was happy with the $69 necklace.. but she say e ring not nice... so we went back swatch today n she wanted it changed... to another design. my sis sadd cos she felt tt when someone gets u a gift... its with the tht tt it suits u n hope u r happy. bt my mom was like complainin tt it didnt suit her. so my sis sadd. she said... next time dun surprise u with gift le... n i agree with her.. its e tht tt counts ba. anywayx the Swatch staff say if change must chsnge to higher priced item... so she ended up with a necklace.. tt cost $109. my sis topped up e remaining cash. i felt pissed. my sis not rich la... then still make her do tt.. haix. i offered to pay e topping up. my sis say its ok. ask me if i wanted e skin watch tt i fell in love with. say she owe me something = = lol i ask her watch her own acc first. hahaha. then my mom keep remindin my sis... "waitin for next month... ^^" then i say y? "oh.. cos askin her *elder sis* to buy me a thin white gold bangle" my initial reaction... *in thoughts* ppl's bonus out let her save $$ for japan trip la... y u still kope ppl de $$ so hou nian pi?? my sis is those type will give e best for ppl de. so i noe she'll get a platinum one instead of e white gold de. n u noe how ex tt is right? n i cant help her here... haix. i feel so sadd for my sis. sometimes i do cry for her... she gives so much la... n look at how ppl treat her? n my mom keep complainin i wasting my sis $$ when i pay for my own. seriously.. my sis spends e most on my mom every month. then she can still PMS at all of us when she feels like it... APPRECIATE PPL!!! PLS!
elder sis saw a top she liked at 77th street... i said.. i'd get it for her la.. cos its E ONLY AFFORDABLE THING SHE LIKE N I CAN GET!!! hahahaha. she say next time go outthen buy la =) so prob next week fri? ^^ who noes. i'd have gotten my pay le heehee. got new shoes... BLACK ONES from Muji today x= couldnt resist nia.. on 30% off...cost less than 50 la ^^ so not so bad. paid for my jap lessons too lOL feel so poor haix. ya... i PAY FOR MY OWN JAP LESSONS. N MY JAPAN TRIP IS CoVERED BY MYSELF TIX N ALL. *juz let me whine la.. feeling stressed* wad else... IF I WERE TO TAKE DRIVIN CLASSES ITS MY OWN TOO. everything's myself.. LOL independence huh? n i dun even get to choose wad course i wanna do in future... haix. fucking dad. he can go hell for all i care x= *did i juz cursed him? oh wells...*
hmmm tired le... my petty thts r out of my head ^^ hahaha. my petty whiny thts haixx.. i duno wads wrong with me... i wana say so much. but no one wanna listen to me whine LOL *who in their right mind will say... "come come whine to me" LOL niax... crazy =) i'm gonna die. cya ^^
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