i nv tht tt i'd...

3:58 am

talkin abt breakin promises... i think i broke my own... hahaha kinda horrible right? i told myself i'd NV EVER BLOG SADD STUPID LOUSY EMO ENTRIES ANYMORE DIDNT I??? OMG = = LOL ok.... cant help it la... i m emo *shrugs*


but if i really have to answer myself... i duno wads bothering me... =) farnie hor?? LOL *lost le* hmmm. hw shld i put it... mayb i m immune to all the pain n sorrow, n e emptiness tt i feel nothing anymore? become like second nature to me.. do u think tt its possible??? o.O =) mayb. lol u tell me.


mom's not home... tts y i m here now LOL at tis time of 4am... feelin awake... cos i dun feel like sleeping. dun ask me why... feel as though sleep will juz waste my time away ^^ lol omg = = *heart thumps* haix..


i noe alot of things r locked inside.. n they still r... written somewhere else... =) wanted to take pics n post it around... but didnt get e chance to. i like to do things by feeling. hahaha i tell u... when i feel like doin something. its cos at tt point in time it means alot to me. so if i send u mms of some pic i took =) means it reminded me of something impt ^^LOL. cos i lazy upload into com.. using lap, so dun wan put so private de things up...


my hands feel itchy... an itch to write... =) serious... whole afternoon n night sat with my Muji book n purple pen... scribbling words all the way.. LOL i dun think its cos i m admiring my own handwriting la =x but really wanted to write something down though nothing's in my head... ended up writing 4 full pages lOL x= horrible. intended to take a pic inside tis precious book of mine to send. but then didnt get to again *shrugs* lol =) my sis saw me sittin down n write... she left me alone =) everyone at home knows tt when i write means i m feeling emo LOL eg.. when my mom lectures me, when i do something wrong, when i fight with my sis, n.. esp in tt period of turmoil =) so they'll let me b n juz glance as they walk by. my diary =) LOL


hmmmm...... wad else.... if i really need to thank someone... for being right here with me... esp now when i m so messed up... i admit. these past few days... weeks? i have been feeling empty n all. i concluded tt i m confused lOL ya. so.... to thank those who have been with me.... 1) Sid... 2) gazette 3) alice nine 4) girugamesh 5) vidoll 6) phantasmagoria 8)12012 9)LM.C 10)many others... includin W-inds n Yui. LOL ya. my songs... e best companions really. the ones tt hear wad my heart is saying.
also, i must say ty to kei-chan la... kei: i think u also duno wads goin on *cos i also duno* ^^ but ty for being here cheering me up LOL Oooo last sunday keep seeing u around!!! omg = = was a booster =) made me feel happy too ^^ hope to c u soon. n ty for the daily morning smses LOL when i walk out of my house i read them, the first sms of e day... n i always end up leavin with a smile ^^ tytyty. n also... ty kAIn... LOL somehow my motivation ba. =) bringing me to life whenever i juz feel like rottin away... like now. *note... i m not sure if i m SUICIDAL* lOL


hmmm.... seriously... i think my life nows's a messy routine.=) everyday the same.. yet nv knowing wad will happen lOl. farnie.


if life were to change... i hope i wun feel so mellow ba... =) e songs tt r stuck in my head lately when i feel emo? Hosoikoe, by SID. listen to it if u have e time lOL written by Shinji.. but, its a sad love song if i m not wrong lOL e music gets to me. kinda comfortin when i feel cold in my heart =)


u ever feel tt way? a coldness in ur body tt can nv seem to b warmed? i duno.... i guess... i m juz sick of my life ba.lol i miss drawing... but no inspiration.. was lookin at my "sketches". felt a longing ^^ hmmm but i'd write first la..LOL mayb i'd start writin short stories again.. ^^ another thing i miss... e music... long time have not touched my piano liao. i come back everyday too tired to do anything. i'd play it again someday... forgot e feel of the music at e tips of my fingers lOl. haix


u noe...i think tis is a super long n boring entry of my superficial life... if u ever got to tis line... *n i dun mean u skipping all the way to the end* i will say u r GREAT ^^ but ohs.. LOL =) ty for coming in to check anywayx. i'd advise u not to read my entries too much. or u'd end up being so mellow like me... not good signs ^^ ooo talkin abt suicides... rmb my sec sch bestie, yumiko-chan!! she said... if she ever were to die... she'd b jumpin off.. cos she wanna fly before she die =) LOL n i always make a joke... "does bouncing off thne ground when u hit e bottom count?" hahahaha and she'd laugh.. cos i gt it off from one of david edding's Belgareth series books ^^ ya... we r bookworms LOL now i m pondering... if i can ever overcome my phobia of heights if i really took e leap? LOL ^^ still wondering... but i can bet, those who leaped off... had about 10 secs to think before they hit e bottom. n i can bet also... within tis time frame... they wished they didnt jump n dun wanna die =) so ya... but too late... they were seeing their own death in e fall. *shrugs*


depressing long entry huh? =) mayb i wun b here much longer liao... who knows... tts y tis entry so long LOL.

† 其々が選んだ日々の中 †

*24.4.1988*
*RMIT - Bachelor in Accountancy*

*Visual KeiのNeverLand*
*Japanese*
*Black|Red|White*
*Dolly*
*The GazettE*
*my endless list of inspirational vk musicians =)*

++ VisualKei の NeverLand ++
. Visual Konbini
★ NO LIVE ♪ NO LIFE ☆　明日も楽しいみたい　v(＾┏┓＾)v
Ｍｙ　Ｄａｉｌｙ　Ｒａｎｔｓ

*tHe-CrApPer*
*ZhU ZhU*
*ZeNor*
*HimUra*
*HaNa-ChaN*
*MiRa-ChaN*
*みらら*
*SuKi*
*GaRcIa*
*TaLib*
*UmMi*
*aLvIn*
*Aya-chan*

o.O
me..
do u know?
firstly...
life...
i ned u = =
EMO V(>-<)b
watashi?
DAOXxxx
me///

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