★ Thursday, March 13, 2008
10:30 pmsuddenly in the blogging mood. lately alot weird things happening... questions keep popping into my head.
right now if i could have a selfish wish being fulfilled that'll be tat i can be really happy. but then its impossible. cos its selfish. =) i'd wish for someone to open up this locked heart of mine. lol been so long le. really kinda immune. the feeling is like... i know wad i shld be feeling now.. eg. pain, anger, sadness, emptiness. they all affect me the way it should. but i dn feel it. i juz know tat this feeling is wad and how i shld react. beyond my control. i wanna be able to feel everything again. is tat possible... =) and many times the statement.. i wish it was me pops in again. lol weird huh... i guess this is e only thing abt being human i hate.
so tiring... sometimes... so energising... other times. =) loL~ i'd keep dreaming again. but to think of living only in dreams is such a nice fantasy and yet at the same time a horrible reality. painful truth of MY life...
then again who gives an effing shit abt my life... =) even myself... all i can do is give a wistful small and walk away patting myself on e back saying... "go on girl! keep doing the good job..." Zzz ya... good job of hiding n running...
i dun wanna change... dun wanna accept facts dun wanna accept truths. how ironic.
yesh.. i m not as shallow as i look <---- i hope i m not really. =) loL! so far many people been telling me things like i think too much... x= i dun wanna be some stupid airhead... though sometimes being a simple airhead is not a bad thing =) a blessin in fact.
i'd juz continue being e cynical way i m...
juz let me rest in peace.
今も生きるの意味を探す…
★ キキ様でした ☆
